“Imagine you’re at a party. A guy offers you a drink. You say no. He says “Come on, one drink!” You say “no thanks.” Later, he brings you a soda. “I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but I was getting one for myself and you looked thirsty.” For you to refuse at this point makes you the asshole. He’s just being nice, right? Predators use the social contract and our own good hearts and fear of being rude against us. If you drink the drink, you’re teaching him that it just takes a little persistence on his part to overcome your “no.” If you say “Really, I appreciate it, but no thanks” and put the drink down and walk away from it, you’re the one who looks rude in that moment. But the fact is, you didn’t ask for the drink and you don’t want the drink and you don’t have to drink it just to make some guy feel validated.”—
“Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Y’all gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. Y’all gon make me act a fool, up in here, up in here. Y’all gon make me lose my cool, up in here, up in here. Also take Jesus out of this place, yo.”—
How About That of the Day: Former President Bill Clinton was a guest on NPR’s Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! this weekend, and was inadvertently outed as a major My Little Pony fan during a segment called “Not My Job,” wherein knowledgeable people are asked about things they should have no knowledge of.
“So you’re a former president, you’re a Rhodes scholar, you’re famously well informed. What could we be sure that an accomplished person like you would know nothing about?,” host Peter Sagal asked Clinton rhetorically. “And then the answer came to us: the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”
One little snag: Clinton was able to answer all of Sagal’s questions correctly.
Turns out we already had our first Brony president, and didn’t even know it.
In yet another expression of my deep, though unrequited love for television, my favorite thing of late has been responding to just about any attempt at social interaction with, “Not from an actuarial standpoint.”
“So, you into the Sox?”
“Not from an actuarial standpoint.”
“I’ve been fermenting my own kombucha, which is pretty cool.”
“Oh, you mean my pilot’s license? That’s out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you’re referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I’d have to kill you, which I can’t do because my license to kill has been revoked.”